


A Little Humidity Never Hurt Anyone

by icosahedonist (teljhin)



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Ending What Ending, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teljhin/pseuds/icosahedonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kristoff told Anna he didn't mind vacationing in the middle of nowhere, but he's not fooling anyone. Perhaps a small interlude in the afternoon will help change his attitude.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Humidity Never Hurt Anyone

**Author's Note:**

> For Kristoff Week on Tumblr. Originally posted at: http://icosahedonist.tumblr.com/post/88014192183/a-little-humidity-never-hurt-anyone-a-frozen

Kristoff stared down his reflection in the mirror and heaved a great, put-upon sigh.

"Remind me why I put up with this, again?" he muttered, gathering up his toiletries to begin his after-shower routine. As he set about shaving the scant stubble of his jaw, he recalled the events that had led up to this moment here, in a cramped bathroom with its dinky tub and lukewarm-at-best, pitiful water pressure, out in the middle of Nowhere, Florida, surrounded by heat and humidity and bugs, good _grief_ the mosquitoes outside—

He paused mid-stroke, not wanting to accidentally slit his throat out of annoyance.

It was just—it wasn't really Anna's fault per se, but if he had to point a finger at who got them in this situation it wouldn't be at him. Because he _told_ her he didn't need an extra vacation, Disney World was fine, more than fine with him, because he'd go wherever she wanted and that'd be more than enough.

And Disney World _had_ been fine, he could admit that! Even if all he got out of it was seeing the pure joy on her face as they walked around the Magic Kingdom, shaking hands and posing for pictures with the characters in costume, shrieking with delight on all the rides....

And then he'd seen Spaceship Earth and honestly it was just a big ol' ball that someone had put up but somehow, _somehow_ the geometry of the thing stopped him in his tracks, beautiful as any snowflake. Anna had nattered on about the architect and when it was built and such, and Kristoff had listened half-heartedly, the rest of him marveling at such a simple thing.

She'd broken the spell with a quick peck on the cheek that turned into Kristoff dragging her back giggling and squealing to their hotel room.

Putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, he smiled at the memory. So the vacation wasn't all bad. But Anna had somehow gotten it in her head that he wouldn't even like Disney World, so in an effort to split their vacation up "fairly", she'd also booked a week at the cabin they were currently inhabiting. And all right, it had some charm—it had a gorgeous eastern view overlooking a lake, it was super secluded, and it had a massive and thoroughly comfortable bed.

But the heat, the godforsaken oppressive _heat_. How could anyone _enjoy_ such an indifferent and hateful thing? Because Anna sure was, _somehow_ , and he really didn't know what to think about that but whatever, if she was happy basking in the sun, glowing and freckling wonderfully, cutting through the water like she was born to swim....

Well. If she was happy, then he'd swallow his grumpy discomfort and make the best of things.

All finished, he ran a hand through his damp hair, shrugged when he found it more or less tangle-free, then headed out to the bedroom. Where he promptly stopped in his tracks and stared at Anna, sprawled naked on the bed.

Or. Or maybe... posed. That might be a better word.

She lay on her back, eyes closed, hair fanned up and out upon the pillows in one neat wave. She was turned away from him slightly, head tilted to the left, mouth open but a peek, fist curled near her chin. One leg stretched out while the other bent at the knee, foot firmly against her bare calf. And her other hand, the one closest to him, was palm up, pointing directly at him, as if beckoning him to join her.

Maybe he made a sound or—or something, because just then she stirred and writhed her body in a cat-like stretch, her back arching up off the bed. He was immediately drawn to the motion of her breasts, slight and perk with a faint sheen of sweat between them that trailed down her abdomen to her belly button and beyond.

God, he could not have been thirstier.

"Kristoff?"

Her murmur, little more than a breathless sigh, jolted him from his slack-jaw stare. He considered going to her right then, but if he made any sudden movements he'd be losing his towel. Though from the way things were playing out, he wouldn't be needing the towel anyway, depending on what Anna wanted to do, if anything, and anyway—

"I thought you'd never finish up. You were at it for quite a while," she said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes and wow, he wasn't usually one for innuendo (okay that was a lie) but _her_ saying that, when she always just blushed and smacked his arm and _bit her lip_ as she gave him that _look_ of hers—

"Oh you mean the shower!" he blurted. She just blinked at him, and he could not have wanted to take back those words more desperately.

But Anna chuckled, drew him back in. She reached for the hair band on the bedside table and proceeded to perform some sort of hair wizardry, twisting and looping and generally amazing Kristoff with her effortless grace. (He knew his way around a knot but watching her fix her hair was an altogether different experience.) Her hair now securely out of the way, she regarded him with a smirk.

"Yeah I mean the shower. Did you cool down enough?" She laced her words with a sweet tone, but he knew better. She loved playing games with him, and he could play just as well with her.

He shrugged and put on an air of indifference. "A little. But to be honest I'm not sure how much good it'll do me in the long run." Casual as can be he rested his hand on the joined, tucked-in top of his towel—predictably drawing her eyes downward. She flicked her gaze back to his face, but he held strong—nevermind that she was the naked one here.

The slow smile that spread over her face _had_ to be illegal, he determined. She drew up her legs and rested her arms upon her knees, keeping just a sliver of her middle in view. He licked his lips— _really_ thirsty now—as she waggled her toes, humming tunelessly.

"C'mere." No sooner had the words passed her lips did he begin lurching forward, yet she stopped him with one outthrust foot. "You don't need the towel."

He grinned at her, all but ripping the towel away from him as he fell upon the bed, gently pushing her on her back—but she instead rolled away, clambered to her knees, and pushed _him_ down on his back.

So. That was how it was gonna be. Well that was just fine by him. Perfectly so.

She pushed at him until he had scooted up the headboard, crawling up in time with him to hook her legs under his. She looked pleased as a cat that got the cream as she lightly scratched her nails down his chest, eliciting a breathy sort of moan from him. She pulled back, wriggled her fingers at him, then—

Oh. _Wow._

Opening her mouth just enough, her tongue slack and resting on the plump bottom lip, she licked a long, slow stripe up the middle of her right hand. His throat clenched up tighter than a fist as his stare was caught between her hand and her face—yet when he caught her eye, the almost detached look she gave him burned a swath of desire down his spine and into his belly. Then, when she just as slowly grasped him and began to stroke with perfect pressure, he grit his teeth against the sudden need to come, fast and hard.

"A little humidity never hurt anyone, you know," she said, her gently chiding tone at odds with her expression, flushing in the swell of sultry air. He raised an eyebrow; of course she knew how he felt about this place. Yet here she was, pressed against him, sharing breath in mingled communion and he marveled all over again at this beautiful woman. The woman he wrapped his arms around, gathered close. Whose breastbone he nuzzled and drank upon, thirst slaked yet never quenched. Who sighed with pleasure as she knelt up and bore down, who undulated her hips against his in measured circles.

Who loved him wholly, just as he loved her.

Soon, all too soon, Kristoff gasped and jerked as his orgasm spread like goosebumps over him, clinging to Anna that much more in an effort to prolong it. She raked her fingers through his hair while he stuttered to a halt and slumped against the headboard. Wearily fixing her with what had to be a loopy smile, he ran a thumb over her cheek, making her grin back.

"You win. The heat's not so bad."

As triumphant as she looked—and did she ever—she replied, "Don't think for a second we're done here, mister."

"Wouldn't dream it," he panted, despite the fact that he felt like he'd just run a marathon. Naked. Under the Florida sun. Which maybe in some sort of technical sense he had, but whatever. _It was worth it._

Disentangling herself, she flopped back onto the sheets, her legs splayed over his thighs and her arms spread above her head. He looked—because how could he not, really—and saw her slick and open, his semen already slipping out. He felt that familiar knot in his gut twist again at the sight, the smell of sex suddenly overwhelming.

"Okay?" He glanced up at her. She was biting her lip, which usually just turned him on but now made him pause. They'd never done this, or not _quite_ this, and they'd talked over their various boundaries as their relationship had progressed. But they hadn't talked this one over, and he appreciated her asking him.

Though he was still just fine with her plans: perfectly so.

She laughed with joyful surprise as he hauled her up his chest by her knees, settling her feet behind him against the wall. Holding her by the hips he bent his head down and began tracing his tongue over every single curve and crevice, making her shudder out moan after choked-off moan. The taste was more bitter, of course, salty and overrun with her natural tangy scent, yet he lapped up all that gravity hadn't removed from his reach. When she was more or less clean of him he sucked two fingers into his mouth; he sank them in her, felt her shiver once all over, rubbed his thumb across her clit in hard little loops. Just as he'd set the pace (in gratitude for the pace she'd set for him) she clenched against his fingers in an offbeat, rapidly increasing rhythm. Biting off a cry she twisted and surged up, and he gazed at the naked bliss upon her face with equally naked pride.

As she came down, sliding back with his help to plant her feet on the bed, he stroked her thighs, partly to calm her and partly to feel her smooth skin. Then the giggles started: first from her then catching in him, the pair of them grinning at each other as they maneuvered to lie side-by-side. He kissed her quick, just once, but with every bit of feeling he possessed. And she, kissing him back, licked the corner of his mouth.

He rolled his eyes. "All right, that's enough outta you," he said, mock-stern.

She cleared her throat, trying for a serious expression but failing. "Sir yes sir," she said, and snuggled closer.

Well, so what about the humidity? Kristoff still hated the brutal heat outside their cabin walls, but inside, with Anna, he could admit that a little bit didn't hurt at all.


End file.
